Warning: Use of undefined constant ’emoji_svg_url’ - assumed '’emoji_svg_url’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 34

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘__return_false’ - assumed '‘__return_false’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 34

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘show_admin_bar’ - assumed '‘show_admin_bar’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 35

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘__return_false’ - assumed '‘__return_false’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 35

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_head’ - assumed '‘wp_head’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 36

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘print_emoji_detection_script’ - assumed '‘print_emoji_detection_script’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 36

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_head’ - assumed '‘wp_head’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 37

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_resource_hints’ - assumed '‘wp_resource_hints’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 37

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_head’ - assumed '‘wp_head’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 38

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_print_head_scripts’ - assumed '‘wp_print_head_scripts’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 38

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_head’ - assumed '‘wp_head’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 39

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_generator’ - assumed '‘wp_generator’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 39

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_head’ - assumed '‘wp_head’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 40

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘rsd_link’ - assumed '‘rsd_link’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 40

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_head’ - assumed '‘wp_head’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 41

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wlwmanifest_link’ - assumed '‘wlwmanifest_link’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 41

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_head’ - assumed '‘wp_head’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 42

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘index_rel_link’ - assumed '‘index_rel_link’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 42

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_head’ - assumed '‘wp_head’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 43

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘dashicons’ - assumed '‘dashicons’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 43

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_head’ - assumed '‘wp_head’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 44

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘parent_post_rel_link’ - assumed '‘parent_post_rel_link’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 44

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_head’ - assumed '‘wp_head’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 45

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘start_post_rel_link’ - assumed '‘start_post_rel_link’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 45

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_head’ - assumed '‘wp_head’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 46

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘adjacent_posts_rel_link_wp_head’ - assumed '‘adjacent_posts_rel_link_wp_head’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 46

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_head’ - assumed '‘wp_head’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 47

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘rel_canonical’ - assumed '‘rel_canonical’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 47

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_head’ - assumed '‘wp_head’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 48

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘feed_links’ - assumed '‘feed_links’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 48

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_head’ - assumed '‘wp_head’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 49

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘feed_links_extra’ - assumed '‘feed_links_extra’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 49

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘admin_print_scripts’ - assumed '‘admin_print_scripts’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 50

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘print_emoji_detection_script’ - assumed '‘print_emoji_detection_script’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 50

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘admin_print_styles’ - assumed '‘admin_print_styles’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 51

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘print_emoji_styles’ - assumed '‘print_emoji_styles’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 51

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘the_content’ - assumed '‘the_content’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 52

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wptexturize’ - assumed '‘wptexturize’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 52

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘comment_text’ - assumed '‘comment_text’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 53

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wptexturize’ - assumed '‘wptexturize’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 53

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_head’ - assumed '‘wp_head’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 54

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘print_emoji_detection_script’ - assumed '‘print_emoji_detection_script’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 54

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_print_styles’ - assumed '‘wp_print_styles’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 55

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘print_emoji_styles’ - assumed '‘print_emoji_styles’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 55

Warning: Use of undefined constant ’embed_head’ - assumed '’embed_head’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 56

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘print_emoji_detection_script’ - assumed '‘print_emoji_detection_script’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 56

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘the_content_feed’ - assumed '‘the_content_feed’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 57

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_staticize_emoji’ - assumed '‘wp_staticize_emoji’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 57

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘comment_text_rss’ - assumed '‘comment_text_rss’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 58

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_staticize_emoji’ - assumed '‘wp_staticize_emoji’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 58

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_mail’ - assumed '‘wp_mail’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 59

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_staticize_emoji_for_email’ - assumed '‘wp_staticize_emoji_for_email’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 59

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_print_styles’ - assumed '‘wp_print_styles’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 61

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘my_deregister_styles’ - assumed '‘my_deregister_styles’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 61

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘wp_enqueue_scripts’ - assumed '‘wp_enqueue_scripts’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 71

Warning: Use of undefined constant ‘mt_enqueue_scripts’ - assumed '‘mt_enqueue_scripts’' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/studying/public_html/wp-content/themes/oceanwp-child/functions.php on line 71
最強溝通術!不是不聽話,而是沒概念,用『舉例』讓孩子聽得懂

最強溝通術!不是不聽話,而是沒概念,用『舉例』讓孩子聽得懂

許多父母在教養孩子的時候,常常會遇到這樣一個問題:不知道為什麼孩子總是沒有辦法為其他人著想,在捷運上要哭鬧就哭鬧,要爬上椅子就爬上椅子。有些父母,遇到這樣的情形時,總會覺得很丟臉,進而對孩子展開謾罵。

但是,孩子真的聽得懂父母想要表達什麼嗎?

事實上,在孩子的觀念裡面,對於客觀的觀念,或是其他人怎麼看待自己的觀念,是還沒有發展出來的,他們無法理解其他人怎麼看待自己,而父母的大聲責罵,通常孩子感受到的只是不理解與不被愛而已。

那麼,該怎麼讓孩子理解其他人的感受呢?在這一篇文章裡,我會提出三個可能的方式,提供給父母做一個參考。

一、具體的例子,讓孩子聽得懂

像是前面提到的這個例子,孩子在捷運上爬到椅子上,讓鞋子踩髒了捷運的座椅,孩子的父母首先要做的第一步,其實是讓自己冷靜下來,「並不是只有你家的孩子會這樣,因為孩子本來就沒有其他人怎麼看的觀念」,停止責備自己之後,才能好好地和孩子溝通。

至於要怎麼說呢?最能讓孩子聽得懂的方式,就是舉例了:

🐱:寶貝呀,爸爸想跟你說一件事情喔!

🐈:什麼事情呀?

🐱:今天如果爸爸回到家,穿著鞋子踩到你的床上,你會不會不開心呢?

🐈:欸額,髒死了,外面的鞋子很髒耶!

🐱:那你想想喔,等一下我們下車之後,會不會有其他人來坐這張椅子呢?

🐈:嗯!

🐱:那這樣子的話,其他人是不是也會坐到你踩過的地方呢?

.

透過這樣具體,而且是孩子可以感同身受的例子,將有助於孩子能夠體會別人的感受。

請記得,善用孩子可以理解的「例子」,孩子生命裡的例子,將有助於孩子能夠理解別人的感受。

二、利用孩子以往經驗,讓孩子了解他人感受

這個方法和前一個其實也是類似的,就是透過孩子曾經有的經驗,讓孩子理解對方的感受。

譬如說今天爸媽開車帶兩個孩子出去玩,而他們在後座打鬧不休,這時候,父母的斥責通常是沒有效的,這時候最好的方法是,舉個他們可以理解的例子,例如:

🐱:哈嘍,你們兩個是不是都很生氣啊?

🐈:對啊,是弟弟先弄我的!

🐅:才不是呢,明明是哥哥先弄我的!

🐱:好,沒關係,我不會評斷你們誰做錯了什麼,但是現在爸爸在開車,很危險,不知道你們有沒有過這樣的經驗,在過馬路的時候,同學互相推擠,先不管你們有沒有做錯什麼,可是是不是有可能在路上跌倒呢?而爸爸現在在開車,是不是也有可能因為你們吵吵鬧鬧的,爸爸的車子也不小心跌倒了?

.

必要的時候,也可以把正向教養的元素加進來,例如「為了不要讓爸爸的車子跌倒,讓我們都不安全,所以爸爸把車子停到路邊,等你們可以好好坐著之後,爸爸再繼續開,這樣比較安全。」

切記,一旦說出了這樣的話之後,就要貫徹執行。重要的是,我們從對話裡面,看到的並不是父親想找出誰是兇手,沒有對誰做指責,而是讓他們了解到安全的重要性。

透過讓孩子理解取代謾罵,我想是能夠有效溝通的一種方式吧!

作者  

貓心 Psydetective

〈 女人迷 〉、〈 泛科學 〉專欄作家。台大心理系畢業。
很喜歡貓,期許自己有一天能開一間充滿貓的心理諮商所。

— 最新文章 —

— 好文推薦 —

×

Cart