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《傻傻愛你,傻傻愛我》寫給家有弱勢兒童的家庭-適時求助,維繫夫妻關係、兼顧其他手足,是重要的課題 - 學學趣

《傻傻愛你,傻傻愛我》寫給家有弱勢兒童的家庭-適時求助,維繫夫妻關係、兼顧其他手足,是重要的課題

電影《傻傻愛你,傻傻愛我》裡,描述了一個唐氏症兒童追隨童話故事中美人魚的故事,憨傻的愛情固然讓人看見了唐寶寶的純粹,但是電影也呈現了母親在教養上的艱辛、父親在家庭中的孤單與外遇、弟弟雖然疼愛唐寶寶哥哥,卻也感覺到母愛的缺乏。

面對弱勢兒童教養,夫妻齊心是重要關鍵

在1994年,研究者黃璉華發表了一篇關於照顧唐寶寶的家庭艱辛,或許可以作為這部電影的延伸題材。

在這篇研究當中,研究者發現,照顧唐寶寶的動力,有83.2%的受訪者表示,伴侶的支持是照顧好唐寶寶最大的動力,只有38.5%的人認為父母的支持是重要的動力,而雖然有74.4%的人參加互助團體,但僅有26.7%的人認為互助團體是支持他們照顧唐寶寶的動力。

而這部電影當中,小維的母親將心力全力投注在小維身上,使得父親倍感孤單,無法滿足被愛的需求與性需求,終至外遇,對照著這篇研究,或許提醒著家裡有弱勢兒童的家庭,除了照顧弱勢兒童之外,把自己的伴侶視為一體的,好好協調夫妻之間的困難與需求,共同面對自己的弱勢兒童,在照顧起自己的孩童時,還有自己的伴侶互相支持,或許是一件很重要的事情。

或許,適時尋求伴侶諮商,是一件很重要的事情,並不是有問題的家庭才需要諮商,心力疲倦也是一件需要處理的重要課題。

過度投注心力在弱勢手足,其他孩童的相對剝奪感

在電影當中,小維的弟弟雖然非常力挺小維,但是在面臨未婚妻的家庭要來家中拜訪時,一個危機,也激發了他對母親偏心的不滿。

確實,在該篇研究中也發現,雖然有89.5%的手足認為,喜歡唐寶寶當自己的兄弟姊妹,但也有20.8%的人認為,有唐寶寶當自己的手足會讓自己被嘲笑,另外有將近⅓的手足感到父母偏心。

父母在照顧弱勢兒童時,對待其他子女的時候,確實很容易分身乏術,在這個方面,或許需要社會服務適時的介入,雖然還是很難保證不會偏心,但是至少在社會資源的協助之下,照顧弱勢兒童時,有更明確的方向與助力,會有助於父母找到更好的方式來照顧弱勢兒童,同時也能夠投注更多心力在自己的其他孩童身上。

選擇主動求助,對弱勢家庭而言是一件很勇敢的事情,求助並不可恥,因為這真的是一件很不容易的事情。

作者  

貓心 Psydetective

台大心理系畢業。國北教心理與諮商所。
撰寫心理相關文章,期望能陪伴自己與讀者找回安全感。


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